Cabin fever musings ...

   Day Three of "The Ice Storm that shut down IPS," and every other school district and I am grateful for the sunshine, even if it comes with some bitter temps! We have done an ice-chipping WOD - with some success - and Chris' posted "at home" workout - very fun, kids love the swooping Hindu pushups! The food has flowed freely, but not without some checks and balances ... And I am thinking about last Saturday's BTWG class and awareness (thinking about awareness, that sounds odd, but true).  Just wanted to share a bit of insight that helped me tremendously 8 years ago, and continues to guide me today ... Segue into a bit of a story,, but hey - you're iced in anyway, right?
   Matt and I decided to become parents by adopting our amazing daughter Emma from China. About this time, 10 years ago, we had completed our paperwork, shared our joy with our families and started reading everything we could about adoption and China.  Seven months later - in July - I found out I was pregnant with Sam (just about the same day Emma was born in China). Pregnant without fertility (who knew?) and now two kiddos on the way, I wish I could tell you that I was ecstatic. Instead, I felt scared and unprepared.  Sam was born in March and Matt left for China in early April to bring Emma home (with my Dad, a whole 'nother story). By the end of April, I was parenting an infant and a 9-month-old, and my life was full of joy and fear. When I look at photos from that time, I feel like I was in shock -- somehow, not really there, or maybe there, but kinda numb.
   Enter the point of the story: Matt and I took a great parenting class with a woman named Michelle.  And here's what I learned about awareness - of parenting, food, exercise, wellness, life:
   Michelle broke awareness down into 4 categories:
1. Unconsciously incompetent
2. Consciously incompetent
3. Consciously competent
4. Unconsciously competent
Most of us start out unconsciously incompetent in our journey (Really? 1200 calories in one meal at Steak and Shake?  10 minutes of mediation is a great start to a busy day? Walking to the fridge does not burn calories?)  As we progress, we become consciously incompetent, and that is where we are alot in BTWG, don't you think? (Wow, I ate that, and now I KNOW how many calories that was... Wow, I skipped 2 workouts and now I FEEL the difference...) The goal is to become consciously competent (No thanks to the chips, I'll eat the carrots with hummus instead ...  I'll get up early to workout because I might not fit it in tonight...) At some point, I think we hope to be unconsciously competent - at a place where we don't have to think about our choices, we just find ourselves making the right (healthy) ones ... Each stage is necessary, and we all dance at different places for different amounts of time.  What I can say now is that I waver between 3 and 4...Most of the times, I know better, and many of the times I choose well without too much thought.  When I don't, I know it. But instead of diving into a vat o guilt, I choose to think about these levels - and where I started: Holding 2 crying babies, unsure of what to do next -- and now smiling at the chance to spend some family time in the snow, or maybe even beating one of  them at Wii! :)